Together Digital Power Lounge, Women in Digital with Power to Share
Digital is a demanding and competitive field. And women are still grossly underpaid & underrepresented. But we are not powerless; we have each other. Together Digital Power Lounge is your place to hear authentic conversations from women in digital who have power to share. Listen and learn from our amazing guests along with host Amy Vaughan, Owner and Chief Empowerment Officer of Together Digital. Together Digital is a diverse and collaborative community of women who work in digital who choose to share their knowledge, power, and connections. To learn more, visit www.togetherindigital.com.
Together Digital Power Lounge, Women in Digital with Power to Share
Thrive Without Burnout
Welcome back to The Power Lounge! I'm Amy Vaughan, and this week, I'm thrilled to welcome Seema Giri—an international bestselling author, wellness and leadership expert, and founder of UpLyft Media. Seema will share her inspiring journey from battling a debilitating illness to achieving success without experiencing burnout. Together, we'll explore what it truly means to redefine success for high-achieving women who balance demanding careers, family, and the drive to excel, often at the expense of their wellbeing.
In our conversation, Seema recounts her six-year struggle before receiving an autoimmune diagnosis and how she discovered a new approach to self-leadership and healing. We'll challenge the notion that productivity requires personal sacrifice, delve into the cultural factors contributing to burnout, and uncover how listening to your body's wisdom can help you set boundaries, cultivate joy, and implement lasting change.
You'll gain valuable insights, science-backed tips, and practical strategies—from body scans to box breathing—that offer a roadmap for thriving on your own terms. Whether you're managing a never-ending to-do list or seeking a better balance between ambition and self-care, this episode provides advice to help you transition from burnout to balance.
Seema Giri brings over 30 years of leadership experience, guiding hundreds of women to publish, speak, and lead with confidence. As the founder of UpLyft Media and Chief Growth Officer at Upbuild Global Inc., she empowers purpose-driven entrepreneurs to transform their personal stories into bestselling books and powerful brands.
Join us as we uncover the secrets to succeeding without sacrificing your health or soul. Don't miss this enlightening conversation on The Power Lounge.
Chapters:
00:00 - Introduction
02:05 - "Empowering Success Without Sacrifice"
09:26 - Autoimmune Insights and Advocacy
10:32 - Pregnancy's Unexpected Physical Changes
15:46 - Easing Back Into Meditation
23:29 - Grounding Techniques for Stress Relief
26:42 - Breathing Techniques for Stress Relief
33:44 - "Origins and Self-Awareness"
40:25 - "Benefits of Saying No"
45:13 - Leadership Trap: Stuck in the Weeds
52:37 - Listening to Your Body After 40
53:59 - Prioritizing Family Presence
01:01:55 - Together Digital Podcast Highlights
01:02:48 - Outro
Quotes:
"Wellness and success are allies, creating a life worth living."- Amy Vaughan
"Support others first, then lead yourself. Create your story one step at a time."- Seema Giri
Connect with Seema Giri
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/seemagiri/
Website:https://uplyft.media/
Connect with the host Amy Vaughan:
LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/amypvaughan
Podcast:Power Lounge Podcast - Together Digital
Learn more about Together Digital and consider joining the movement by visitingHome - Together Digital
Hello everyone and welcome to our weekly power lounge. This is your place to hear authentic conversations from those who have power to share. My name is Amy Vaughn and I am the owner and chief empowerment officer of Together Digital, a diverse and collaborative community of women who choose to share their knowledge, power and connections. You can join the movement at togetherindigitalcom. And today we're exploring a topic that hits close to home for so many high achieving women within our community and beyond how to succeed without sacrificing your health or your soul, as it feels like sometimes, and I am thrilled to introduce and welcome Seema Giri. She is the founder and international bestselling author and transformational expert in wellness and leadership, who truly embodies what it means to rise from challenge to change.
Speaker 1:As the founder of Uplift Media and the CGO at Uplift or Upbuild Global Inc. Seema has spent over 30 years helping purpose-driven entrepreneurs transform their personal stories into best-selling books and powerhouse brands. But what makes her story particularly powerful is her own personal journey, overcoming a debilitating illness. She has dedicated her life to empowering others to thrive without burnout. Seema has guided hundreds of women to publish, to speak, to lead with confidence, and her mission goes far beyond business success. She is here to help us rewrite the rules of what success looks like, where wellness isn't an afterthought but a non-negotiable. It is a non but a non-negotiable strategy for long-term achievement. So, friends, listeners, if you are struggling with a demanding career, personal life, the desire to do more, or maybe all of the above, today's conversation is going to give you the tools to shift from burnout to balance. So please join me in welcoming Seema Gary to the Power Lounge. Welcome, seema.
Speaker 2:Hi Amy, I'm so happy to be here in this Power Lounge with you and with your listeners.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. And those of you who are here with us live, live listeners. We love you and we appreciate you for taking the time to be here with us in real time. Use the chat, ask questions if you have them. I promise you we will get to them before the end of the conversation. And for those of you who aren't listening live, just know that you always can. You can find our events on Eventbrite. Also, be sure to follow us on YouTube and anywhere you stream your podcasts. All right, seema, let's get into this. I'm excited for this conversation. These questions, I think, are a lot of the questions that are swirling around in all of our busy little brains. But first I want to start with your journey. As I mentioned in your bio, you experienced a debilitating illness, and then that to becoming a wellness and leadership expert. It's pretty remarkable. What was the turning point for you that made you realize that success needed to be redefined, not just for you, but the women that you serve, Wow.
Speaker 2:So you know, years ago this is 27 years to be exact I was struggling with just the general kind of tiredness and just exhausted and that sometimes felt like maybe coming down with a cold, sometimes it felt like a flu, sometimes it just felt like I was being overworked, right, but I didn't really pay much attention at that time. I was in my 20s then and I was newly married, had a great job partying over the weekend, so I started cutting things out, you know, stop the partying, just focus on working and coming home. But still things weren't getting better. So you know, as women, we are always putting things off and not going to the doctor right away. We'll try everything else.
Speaker 2:So finally, I went to the doctor and they did their tests and everything came out normal. So they said you know, you're just depressed or you have you know. So I kept going to more doctors and.
Speaker 2:I kept hearing the same thing. But now, amy, I was in extreme pain. I couldn't drive, I was in pain all the time and it's like you look perfectly healthy. Healthy from the outside, maybe a little tired, but yeah, it felt like a tsunami was going in internally. It took six years to finally be diagnosed correctly. Wow, with three types of autoimmune issues um a hypothyroid, rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia.
Speaker 2:oh my. And before and before that, all the doctors were saying it's in your head, it's, you know, it's. You're a woman. I was, I felt, dismissed, right Because I'm a woman, and but that there was a little voice inside me that said you know, just, there's something there, keep going. So finally, after being diagnosed with these three types of autoimmune issues, put me on 30 medications. Wow, which was still. You know, the pain was a little bit better, but there were so many side effects and just taking this kind of medicine was not easy and just maintaining a regular work was also very hard. Um, then I had my son. The doctor said you know, see, my pregnancy changes your entire hormone and body and so if you have, you know, if you start having children, that might help you.
Speaker 2:But, then I was at a moral conflict here, amy, because one I did not want kids, and that too at that time, right, and then I didn't want kids, and that too at that time.
Speaker 1:And then I didn't want to use a child as an experiment and then not be happy loving a child and the child is going to suffer.
Speaker 2:So I had to struggle with this emotional and moral conflict and I was like you know, this is not fair, I'd rather deal with the pain. But I finally came to terms that you know, this is something that I would want and I would honor the child and love the child the best I could. So the pregnancy helped. I never felt better. I released weight. I only had the baby weight.
Speaker 2:Pregnancy, the delivery was a little difficult and I think because of that, soon after two months after my delivery, I became bedridden, wow, and I couldn't enjoy my baby. I couldn't hold him, I couldn't. You know, the joys of new motherhood was like, felt like was taken away from me. And the doctors then said Seema, you know we can make you comfortable, but I'm sorry, this is how your life is going to be for the rest of your life. And I looked at them and I was like, really, are you sure? You know? So got opinions, doctor after doctor, and they all said yes.
Speaker 2:Then, amy, I did the only thing I could and I looked at my baby and I said Then, amy, I did the only thing I could and I looked at my baby and I said no, this is not the life you're going to have. He didn't come in this world. I had a son. He didn't come in this world to have this kind of a life. I said I'm going to do whatever I can to give you the best possible life, and I made that promise to him and to me. So I noticed that you know, as women women it's hard for us to do something for ourselves, and it's okay if you can't do it for yourself, but take an action for someone else that you love so much. So my child was my catalyst, my inspiration, and I started listening more to myself. Up to this point, although I was raised in the US, I'm from an Indian family, and a very traditional, conservative Indian family. Yeah, so I was.
Speaker 2:I had a blueprint that I had to follow and so I was told I didn't, couldn't really use my own thoughts and feelings and ideas and make my decisions. Right up to this point, I hadn't really made any major decision, and now I was forced to make my own decision. Family and doctors were all saying the same thing. I had to cut out all that noise, go internal and say okay, seema, what is it? And I started listening to my intuition. Then, when you make those decisions, the right people come into your life.
Speaker 2:I had a family friend living close by Veena Singla is her name and she told me she said Seema, put on your big girl panties and start taking control of your life and your health. So the things that the doctor said nutrition is not going to help much. Exercise is not going to help. Much exercise is not going to help much. Those are the exact things that help. So I started implementing whole food nutrition. I love it and within four months uh, amy, I was up and about. I was able to take care of myself. Six months later, I was able to take care of my son and really start on that healing journey. So it's really about what are you fueling yourself with? Right in terms of nutrition, in terms of what your stories, you're allowing it and who you are listening to and I find, as women, we really listen to everyone else around us. Yes For ourselves.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love that, seema. Thank you for sharing that vulnerable story. And you know, it is true, there's no one coming to save us and the answers are not outside you, they are absolutely within you, like everything starts there, the way you see the world, the way the world sees you, all of it, and I love that you shared that because it's funny. As soon as you started speaking about your symptoms, my first thought was autoimmune. I can't tell you how many women I know that are dealing with autoimmune issues and it does take anywhere from five to seven years sometimes for them to be diagnosed. This includes my own mom, and I've been her patient advocate for over a decade, and so anytime someone starts to share some things with me and it's funny because I get medical professionals now will tell me, even as the vet.
Speaker 1:Today I was talking to the vet for my cat. She's like are you in the medical profession? I'm like no, I just I educate myself, you know, on these things because you know, and I used to work in health care it's so, it's so. It's so fractional and people aren't talking to other people and the systems are very broken, in my opinion, that it does leave especially women and my own orities in a place where they can either be misdiagnosed, mistreated or, you know, never diagnosed and just told well, this is what life is, and it's going to be suffering and no, there's nothing you can do, which I love that you're like.
Speaker 1:That is not an answer I'm willing to accept. No, and you're so right. Kids, do you mess with everything? I think my foot grew by like a half size. My eyesight changed, I actually my eyesight got better while I was pregnant and I ended up with a astigmatism that went away as soon as my kids came. I had no clue that, like, the hormones and the things in your body that are produced while pregnant and after could do so much to your physical body.
Speaker 1:So I think this is a great call to you listeners. You know who are. You know having these experiences where you feel like your, your feelings, your symptoms, all of these things that are telling you like something is wrong. You, just you have to keep advocating for yourself and wanting something more, because you're right, you're doing it for your kids, you're doing it for your family and not just yourself. Right, you can't show up half empty and a hollow shell of a person, right? It's just not the kind of mother any of us would have wanted.
Speaker 2:And that's the thing that. The other thing that I want to bring out is eventually, you want to move into doing it for yourself. Yeah, now, at this point, the things I'm doing doing, I'm doing it for myself because you know, especially if you have a family and a community around you, people don't do as they, as you say, they do as you do, yes, so that is really important too, and it all boils down, amy, to self-leadership. How are you leading yourself? And then why is anyone going to follow you? If you want to be leader, even at the workplace, right, yes, that's because you have the mom. Title does not mean you're not a leader. You're leading the most important community ever, because these children are going to grow up to be leaders, and how they behave and communicate and the things they do is going to affect everybody.
Speaker 1:I love it. Preach girl, all right, you know I'm always in the mindset of our listeners and our members because you know I get to be in work, close in community with them and I know that. You know it's not an intentional thing. But oftentimes those who are high achievers where their busy schedules like a badge of honor and use that as a reason not to take the time that they need to take for themselves, how do you help women recognize when they have crossed the line from productive ambition to harmful burnout?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, you start noticing things that you're not getting as much things done, right, you are frustrated. You are tired. You are irritated, right, things that may not bother you start bothering you, right, I love being busy, I love having a packed schedule because I feel like I am so much more productive. Then, right, but you're not even machines. You're not a machine, but even machines need downtime. They need to be maintained, they need to have be oiled, they need to have all it, just like your cars, right. They won't give you that kind of mileage if you don't take regular care.
Speaker 2:That's how we are and for us, it's in the form of rest. Right, and I think one of the reasons really is hard because, um, we want to have it all. And in order to have it all, you know we have to do certain things. And it also comes from culture and your background, right, how you've been raised. In our culture, from the, from the period of those who came here as an immigrant, we had to lead a very different life. You know, for safety purposes, we had to be almost invisible, work really hard, we did not have time to rest and at that time, if you did rest, you were considered lazy, you were considered not serious enough about your work. So that builds that. It's in part of our DNA, right? So it's part of recognizing those things. Whose belief is it Right? And then, what were the reasons we were told back in the day, and does that still apply today? And it doesn't apply today Because things are different. We are the next generation.
Speaker 2:Yes, so you are allowed to rest. Your body absolutely needs it, right? You'll start seeing symptoms, like I did, and autoimmune initial symptoms are very generic. You could have anything. You could be from nothing to having cancer, right, it's such a big thing. So you need to, you know, be your own best friend as soon as you start noticing anything different in your body. Listen to your body. Your body says things very softly. I didn't start getting tired, just that in my 20s. It's been happening over a period of time. At that time I was a teenager and I didn't know what it was saying. So, start listening to your body. It might be, if you start noticing a pattern, like every time you're ready to ramp up, something happens and you're slowing down. Right, that was the biggest thing for me. I'm ready to ramp up things and I'm ready to go, and then something happens and I'm back to square one. Things just like taking a five minute breather. You know, just sit for five minutes and breathe, yeah.
Speaker 1:That's hard.
Speaker 1:For some people that's really hard and I would say, like start with, like small doses, like I've recommended. Maybe in past episodes of like, during the pandemic, I was trying to get back into my meditation practice. I had been meditating, doing yoga, since I was 18, like in the 90s, before anybody was really talking about it and doing it was trendy, and so for me it took me time, even having practiced in the past, you know, 20 years later to come back to it In the past. You know 20 years later to come back to it. I found walking meditations to be really good and helpful because I had that extra energy that I needed to get out, or meditating after working out, somehow expending energy got me into stillness a little bit easier.
Speaker 1:So playing around and figuring out what works for you is great, and I agree like stress is such a big impact and can really drive inflammation in the body, which then is like huge for autoimmune right. So if you are dealing with something autoimmune or even hormonal based, you know again, those stressors cause you to slow down and I really want those who are listening to remember that rest is actually a part of productivity, right. Like you said, that machine has to shut down and it's not just sleep, but it's quality sleep. It's, you know, time doing nothing and being bored and learning how to be in stillness, and it's not like you have to be in a cave meditating for five hours. But, you know, finding those little moments and points of rest. That's what's going to help you carry you across the finish line. It's not going until your legs come out from underneath you right like the rest is required to get to the finish line and and if you don't like meditation or rest, think of this way.
Speaker 2:What brings you joy? Do the things that brings you joy. Right, because you want to have fun. Life is meant to be fun. Yeah, yeah, that's actually the. You're here to do something. You're not here to struggle, and if you're struggling, then that's probably not the area you need to be focusing on. These are signs, right, I had no idea that struggle is a sign that you're probably doing something that you're not meant to do, because when you're doing something that you're meant to do, it comes with ease, it flows easily. There are hard times, difficult times during that time right, but you feel more joy, you feel more energized. So, everything you're doing, whether you're with people, do you assess yourself? Are these people giving me energy? Yeah, are they. And the tasks you're doing? Is this giving me energy? Out now, we have so much resources to outsource things. Outsource them, right. You can't outsource your health. You have to take the responsibility for it and take responsibility. You know people.
Speaker 2:We keep saying you know this is happening, this is happening, this is happening, but we don't take that responsibility, that's leadership take your responsibility and take action, because we other people can be doing things around us, but we're allowing them to do it with us, right?
Speaker 1:right. Yeah, I love that lead lead yourself first and then allow others to follow.
Speaker 1:I love that so much, what you were talking about a second ago, though I think I want to bring it back to that for the next question because I totally realize, as a former very busy, very like in in my career, kind of weeds kind of person, I literally was living in my head alone, my head, and like I was might as well just been from the neck up for about 10 years. You know, let's start talking about like reconnecting with your body's wisdom as a guide. You said something about. You know let's start talking about like reconnecting with your body's wisdom as a guide. You said something about you know paying attention to where energy comes in, where energy goes, energy flows right. So like where do I feel energy?
Speaker 1:But then a lot of women they're like I don't know, I really don't feel anything from the neck down. How can you help? Or how have you helped women who've been living in their heads for years kind of take that first step into rebuilding the connection with their body so they actually can pay attention to the things that bring them energy? Because a lot of times you'll say that and women are like I don't know what that means, because I don't remember the last time I felt anything again from like the neck down yeah, yeah, those, the, the.
Speaker 2:I find that is usually when we're trying to not feel things right. I would like to, if it's okay with you, amy. Yeah, just take a real quick exercise right now, absolutely. So. Everyone is in their own safe place, you can close your eyes, take a deep breath in and just scan your body. This is called a body scan. You start from the top and just scan your body. This is called a body scan. You start from the top and you just go down, start from your head and just feel your face, your cheeks, take another deep breath in and just go feel your neck and you want to look.
Speaker 2:For where do you feel any kind of sensation or any kind of pain? Right, you might feel pain, you might feel stuckness, you might feel maybe even some kind of warmth or heat. As we scan the body now we're at our chest and our upper shoulders and arms. See where you feel that sensation Down to your stomach, your middle of your back, your arms. In any place you feel any kind of stiffness, any kind of pain, maybe any kind of pain, maybe any kind of heat, any kind of sensation.
Speaker 2:Everyone is different. I want you to bring your awareness to that spot and just send your breath there. Take a deep breath in, bring awareness of that particular spot and send your breath there. Take a few breaths and send it there and continue scanning. Now we're at our hips, our buttocks, go down to your thighs, your knees, your calves and any time you feel any kind of stiffness, a pain, some sensation, take a moment to bring that to your awareness and send a few deep breaths directly to that spot. And send a few deep breaths directly to that spot and you'll notice that it's opening up a little. The pain may have seized a little, the stiffness might be less, the sensation might have gone away. Now bring it down to your ankles and your feet. So by doing this exercise, amy, this has been a great way for people to start connecting and noticing different parts of their body where they're feeling. A sensation or pain usually comes up as a pain.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that so much. Hot tip for those of you who are still in working office environments One I apologize, you're having to be at a work office every day. That's hard sometimes now without the flexibility, but I used to actually go into those little huddle like phone booth rooms because they were private and between meetings, and I mean what you just took us through there, seema, was a minute. Everyone has a minute. Like imagine if you were able to give like I would kind of just notice.
Speaker 1:For me, stress and anxiety is usually like a head spinning moment, like I feel like my head's kind of like a top and it's going around and around. I actually kind of feel dizzy and I and I usually can't get my brain and my thoughts to slow down and so, like some somatic things I've learned in the past, is like taking my hands and putting them on top of my head like this, to kind of ground my head, my crown of my head as well as my sacral and like everything else, like lower my root, but then also taking a few short minutes, and I can even do this head on my hands thing while I'm in a meeting with somebody. They don't know what it is, you know they're not aware of what I'm doing. They just think maybe I'm like feeling a little extra confident. Put my hands over my head. But that little bit of time, even just giving yourself that minute, it's such a gift in the moment and you can take more of those little moments than what you realize. And I think once you realize it and put it in your toolbox and you can use it.
Speaker 1:I used to do it even when I was starting to feel a bit weary. Around two, three o'clock I would normally go and grab a coffee, which would just kind of then throw me into insomnia. For the next upcoming night I started doing like a quick five minute meditation in one of those little rooms and that was like better than any cup of coffee. I felt more, everything looked clearer, I felt more clear headed, I felt more grounded and it really, really helped me start to learn how to truly listen to my body so that you know when I'm in moments and times of stress or conflict, I know how to sort of take care of and soothe myself, which is just such a great tool to have. So thanks for demonstrating. I'm really glad that you shared that with us. That's one of my favorite practices, too, is the body scan. I used to actually use it to help my kids get my kids to bed at night too, so if you struggle with insomnia, it's a great practice for that as well.
Speaker 2:Wonderful. Yes, it works really well. And I'd like to give another quick tip, especially those who are working and you're in meetings and things come up in meetings, right. So I love this box breathing because you can do it anytime, anywhere. No one really sees it. They see you breathing, they do that anyway, yeah. So it's a very quick. You can just take in a breath for four counts and just breathe in for four counts One, two, three, four. Hold for four One, two, three, four. Exhale for four. One, two, three, four. Exhale for four. One, two, three, four and then hold for four One, two, three, four. So when you feel anxiety coming up or when you feel nervous, if you have to speak up or if you feel you know for reason anything is, you know the person comes.
Speaker 2:There's always that one person that stresses everyone right you can start doing these things, and I was coming a little fast. You can even do it a little bit slower, sure, but that just changes your whole physiology within your body and calms you down.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes, I love the doing the double deep breath. Play around with your breath, I think, and look at different like. I think that one box breathing is great. I don't know where I got this, if it was just something I played around and found out for myself, but I call it the double deep breath, where I take shallow breaths in, I realized. So it was box breathing. Sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating, so I do like a big double breath in and then a huge exhale, and then double breath in and then a huge, and it's like all of a sudden I, just like you said, I feel lighter, I feel easier.
Speaker 1:And I think all these things are so important because you know we're starting to learn that, like stress, trauma, all these things, it imprints on our DNA, like there's science out there that's showing like it is deeply affecting our body.
Speaker 1:It's not just our brain that affects our body.
Speaker 1:Our body is impacting our brain, so much so that, like your heart rate, if I was to artificially inflate your heart rate and make it go up, your brain would start to go into a panic, thinking something was wrong.
Speaker 1:Because the brain's response is how do we work this to kind of get it back to where it needs to be. So anybody who's ever had any kind of like heart tests know what I'm talking stress tests knows what I'm talking about and that's why it's like I think if we realize if you could slow your heart rate, you can actually slow your brain down and that's, I think, where the breathing, the breathing and the science behind taking a breath is so, so helpful to know. All right, for my next question, you know I wanted to dig in more to the fact that you know you've helped a lot of women take their stories and move them into things like bestselling books and brands, a lot of personal transformation. I'm curious if there's any patterns that you've noticed in the women who've successfully shifted from kind of this place of just desperation and burnout to something that was sustainable and looked like success for them on their terms.
Speaker 2:Yes, great question, amy. Yes, so the things that I've noticed, right, they're very successful women, and these are the kind of women that, if you looked at them, you would not think that they've had anything else going behind. Right, the low confidence that they had, the low self-esteem, but they knew they were meant for more and that's why they had even stepped into personal development. They knew that they had a gift that they wanted to give. They no longer wanted to keep it within. So one was they were sick and tired of being sick and tired and sick and tired of being in that position, right, right, so they took the courageous steps to be there.
Speaker 2:So the pattern that I've noticed was that we they were not taking ownership of their own life and their story. Right, we were upset that we've had this difficult life or we did not have this difficult life. You need to own your story, even if, like me, I didn't have much control over my life from the beginning. I wasn't able to make a lot of decisions, right, but I had to own my story, saying, okay, whatever it is, this is my story, it's mine and I have to accept it. So I think we're always living outside of our story. So I think we're always living outside of our story. Yes, so they accepted whatever responsibility they had, whatever, however it was, and then they were ready to decide okay, now I can create what I want. Yes, right.
Speaker 2:So they had to really get in tune with what is it that they want? What kind of a life do they want to have? They are the creators, right, it's so. Understanding that and taking that ownership and then picking and choosing it's life's like a buffet right, you can create what you want. How do you want it?
Speaker 2:And then just stepping into that, many times it's felt like you know they're going forward, but it also felt like you're taking 10 steps forward and taking 10 steps back yeah, right, or you're taking 10 steps forward and you're going two steps back and that's part of the process that is going to happen. So, understanding that is part of the process and just keep moving forward. So, even though, if you see the curve right, even though you're moving upwards and you're falling back, the fallback is not as it's not to the beginning, right, yeah, it's just a little bit. Yeah, right, so you still have progressed. So that's what I've helped them really see is that when they're falling back, there's still much ahead. They're not at the beginning, yeah, and and taking small intentional steps right, we try to do.
Speaker 2:Like me, I try to do everything at once and it's just not possible. Right, you want to take small steps? Right? This is a Kaizen approach that I teach all the time. Yes, right, it's small, incremental steps that you can do daily. You do the things you can do right from where you are. I think sometimes we mistake to try to do everything else. Right, what the other person is doing, and you have to be. They started being really honest with themselves, right, really authentic, finding who you really are and then showing up that way. You're a woman becoming, you're becoming into the greatness you're meant to be. You're already great, but you're becoming and stepping into your next phase, your next, your next chapter, right? So, um, sometimes, in order to become that, you have to start living in that way today, right? So these are the patterns that I've noticed with these women right, taking ownership of their story, believing it's an amazing story. However, it is right, believing it's your story and you are great just the way you are. You don't need to change yourself. 180 degrees.
Speaker 1:Yeah, don't pretend to be somebody else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah. Discover if you are as humans. There's so much depth to us right.
Speaker 2:You are a mom, you are a sister, you are a wife, you are a warrior. Right, you are yourself too. There's so many different aspects of us, of ourselves, yes, so we get to be all of that, and they can be very different too. It doesn't have to be. You know. So many times people have told me, sima, this is who you are, this is how you are. I was like no, that's the part you see from your experience and from your bias. Also, people see us through their own filters, just like we see others through our own filters. Don't let those filters impact you. You know who you are, you know who you want to be, and write it down. Write it down, post it everywhere if you need to, and it's okay, you can do all of that.
Speaker 2:And it's okay to fall back. You're going to fall. You're okay to fall back. You're going to fall. You're going to get upset. You're going to feel like you haven't achieved anything. It's all part of the process.
Speaker 1:I love this so much. I think you know everyone deserves to fall in love with themselves. As weird and conceited as that might sound. It's like no, you're the only person who is going to know you for your entire life literally is you and it's like you have to be your own best friend and I love this idea of you know a lot of who you are starts with who you were, and I found that through a lot of like personal development and self-awareness and being open and more honest and sharing like yeah, I'm a first generation kid too, so I relate a lot to the things that you're saying, but I also grew up in a trailer park at a family that didn't have a lot of money. I'm also the first born.
Speaker 1:There's so much that goes into who I am now and how I respond to things now, because who I was when I was seven or eight years old and if you've forgotten yourself in that kind of childlike state, there's a lot of you that you've left behind and I think having that vulnerability and self-awareness I think one it opens up doors for you, gives you kind of like a roadmap to know you know the path that you're on and where maybe you want to go, and I think that's another thing too right.
Speaker 1:I think we often look at I love that, your advice, and I love the Kaizen work as well, because it is we often look at the summit and like where we want to be without just even looking where we're taking the next step, and it's like how do you ever plan to get there if you just don't take that first small, tiny step? Like focus on the steps and where your feet are now and then occasionally look up at the summit and remind yourself what you're striving for. But and I also I'm always going to remember that image too, seema, thank you of like, even when you fall backwards, you it's, it's, it's so few steps less than where for how far you've come. So really celebrating those successes and looking at that. And every time you fall back, it's like that's a lesson, and so now you're growing even more. So really, the only way is up, but it has to start with you. Nobody's going to be able to do this work for you.
Speaker 1:So, listeners, I'm sorry. As wonderful as advice Asima is giving you, and again working with somebody like her, like a coach, to keep you accountable and to help you figure out like what roadmaps might look like, that's all great too, but at the end of the day, she's not going to do it for you. You got to do the hard work.
Speaker 2:You have to take the step. Yeah, it's scary, it's hard. Yeah, know it's scary, it's hard. Yeah, know that it's possible. Yeah, you reminded me of my favorite quote, uh amy, by laozu the journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step. Yes, absolutely, and it's always about the next step. It's not about 10 steps later, it's just about next step. So you don't need to know anything at all today. You just need to know what is your next step.
Speaker 1:Yes, I love it Absolutely. Yeah, make it manageable, make it doable. It's going to be those are going to be, the kinds of wins that keep you moving versus holding you back. All right, let's talk about another popular common theme around burnout, and that's boundaries. And that word makes a lot of ambitious women uncomfortable. How do you help your clients create boundaries that protect their energy without feeling like they're limiting their potential?
Speaker 2:Well, the first is, you know, sometimes we're meeting with people and making certain decisions at a time that's not really conducive to us, right? So, first is knowing when is the best part of the day for you to do certain things, right, if you're a morning person, you might want to have morning meetings. That's when you're active the most right? Yeah, so, knowing and understanding that. So, if you know you need to make certain decisions, you know important decisions have it be around the time that you are the most active and energized, right? Okay, um, that's one thing. Also, these things work around your cycle, yes, your menstrual cycle too. Um, so, if we can plan your work around that as well, so maybe take more planning kind of work, uh, things that requires you to be alone and think you know to do it around that time. I know it's not always possible, but if those who can?
Speaker 2:that is the best way to do that right. I love it, and it's a practice of getting to say no right, and you don't have to say no in that. No, no right. If you need to, you know, start saying maybe that you're busy or that you're double booked or you already have previous commitment, because we tend to do a lot of things that we don't really want to out of obligation, right. But you have to protect your energy first. So ask yourself is this activity going to give me energy? If not, then politely decline. If you can do something with the person you like, the person you want to do something at maybe a better time, then you know, do that, yeah, um, for is you know, when we say boundaries, it just maybe give it another word that feels better for you. Oh, I like that idea yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:yeah, maybe me time, this is me time. Right, schedule those things in your calendar, yeah, um, or you call it your sacred time. Oh, I like that too, but we also have to start filtering out the people in our lives that are not giving us that. I had to do that, and I had to do that with family members too, and that's not easy to do. I can't even imagine having to do that with your immediate family right.
Speaker 2:But if you need to do that to protect yourself, maybe even for some time, some people can be out forever. Some people can be out for a family right. But if you need to do that to protect yourself, maybe even for some time, some people can be out forever. Some people can be out for a season right. Whatever you need Is to you know this is really to honor yourself, so is it. Do you need five minutes to have your coffee alone, right, with your kids? I used to tell my kids mommy's taking time out.
Speaker 1:Yeah, oh, I love it Because they're taking time out. Right, because their mommy's taking time out. It's like oh mom's in trouble.
Speaker 2:Even she's putting herself in time out.
Speaker 1:You know it's so funny. That just took me back to a moment when I think it was my daughter. At one point she was like four or five years old and she was wanting something and we were bickering about it and I couldn't negotiate out of it, I couldn't distract her to something else and finally she's like, well, I'm going to do this and then you're going to go to jail. I was like, oh, please, send me to jail. All I have to do is lay around, read books. People will give me food. I don't have to clean up after anybody. I was like, yes, please send me. Might be a sign you need some rest if jail sounds good. Yes, but yeah, I so agree. I love your advice on the cycle. We.
Speaker 1:I don't think we have this as a podcast episode. I think it was a webinar episode during the pandemic where we had a guest on who was a specialist with women's cycles and productivity and it was like such a good unlock. So those of you who are listening, please take Seema's advice Start doing some reading on your cycle and how productive or unproductive you might be, you might be during those moments of time in the month. It is such a cool unlock, to be able to know your body and your cycle and your system that well, to be able to leverage it in your favor. And I 100% agree with you.
Speaker 1:Boundaries are really more that chance of what is it that I need to be able to leverage it in your favor. And I 100% agree with you. Boundaries are really more that chance of what is it that I need to say no to so I can have more of right. So I always think about I'm saying no to this because I need more of this right. I get a request from the school to do some volunteer work. I have volunteered for the last seven, eight years. Like it's like. Sometimes you have to say no because I want more time, quality time with my family, quality time with myself. You know less sense of responsibility, accountability on weeknights, because I'm running a business you know. Think about what you want more of, to help you validate the reason why you're saying no and I think will give you a little bit more courage when it comes to it. And like, what are the other doors that you're opening by saying no? Yes isn't always the opportunity. Sometimes no is the opportunity.
Speaker 2:Exactly. And I say make a list of your non-negotiables. Sometimes we don't even know that. And some of my clients have been really surprised when they wrote down their non-negotiable some of the things that was actually there that they were not honoring. So saying no and setting boundaries is more like how are you going to honor yourself? So then you can be the best version of yourself, so you can give to those people in your community that you want to give to more of where they'll appreciate you. That is a main key thing here.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and you're modeling such a great thing for your family and for your kids and for your partner and for your coworkers. I love that. But there's one more thing that I think a lot of women, once they take action that kind of first step into this is they struggle with the idea of not good enough or good enough. How do you help those high achieving women who are trying to embrace wellness practices understand that they don't have to be perfect in order to be sustainable?
Speaker 2:Well, I show them. I show them their own success that they're forgotten. So why? Why do you feel you're not good enough? These are the things from your life that you're actually done Right. And if you were going to hire someone to do these kinds of things, what kind of people would you hire, right? And then they started listing. It's like honey, you already have all of this Right. That's you, and and beyond that.
Speaker 1:Uh-huh, that reminder is so good. I love that.
Speaker 2:It's okay. So it's about taking a peek into your own life and realizing, because sometimes you don't see, because you're in the mode of doing all the time, you don't see all the things you've done. I did not realize that, healing myself and going against the doctors and listening to my own inner guidance was a huge thing.
Speaker 2:Until I started sharing, people started saying that this is extraordinary, yeah, right. So just getting that validation that it's extraordinary and showing things from their own life reminds them that they are good. You're not good enough as to whose standards Right, right, whose standards?
Speaker 2:Your own own right. So we're always setting up higher standards for ourselves, right? So it's a reminder from glimpses of their own life that they are good enough, right? Right and this was a surprise to me perfection is actually a low standard. That is, you're trying to set a bar of something that you're never going to achieve, right, so it's really actually a lower standard because you're just hiding and saying that I want to be the best now, right? It is in the action and in the doing that you are the best if you're getting certain recognition.
Speaker 2:I show them the recognition that they've received right. The comments that they get right. Sometimes, even the salary that they're getting. If you were not good enough, you would not be having these things. Showing them where they are today is a great reminder that, okay, I am good. Who knows what good enough is? On what metric are you looking at, right? Right yeah, what's that measurement? Exactly, exactly. You are good. That's why you have the things you have now. You are good if you're an entrepreneur.
Speaker 1:That's why you have the clients that you have, right. What you're speaking about, too, is just that practice of gratitude, right, and staying aware of what you have accomplished. It's celebrating having those small wins and celebrating those. It's buying and giving yourself flowers. One other thing I think, too, that kind of does a lot of this well outside of just social conditioning, right. Women are conditioned to, basically, we are the doers, we take care of everyone, we take care of everything we nurture, we take care of everything we nurture. And you know, and even in the workplace you know, doing for women is sort of how they think that they have to climb right, like they have to be seen as productive and doing, and then they get dinged for not leading because they're so busy in the weeds and doing and we never get out of the weeds. So I would say that's one little trap that's easy to fall into outside of the perfectionism trap, but then also the comparison trap. Do you come across a lot of that when you're dealing and talking with their women that you mentor and coach.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, they do like to compare. But you know, when we're looking at any statistics and data, especially at work this is from my project management side right we always say you can't compare apples and oranges. Yes, you have to compare apple to apple right or orange to orange. So if you're comparing someone, you have to make sure that they've come from the same exact background Right and the same exact life. But that's impossible.
Speaker 2:Even siblings have the same set of parents, but they are so different, yeah, like even twins, you know, identical twins that can even look alike, sound alike.
Speaker 1:Yeah, totally different.
Speaker 2:But their whole life is different because of the kind of perspective they've taken, right? Yeah, so you can, um I, you can look up to women your admirer, strive to be similar to them, right, but you can't really compare. It has to be apples to apples, right? So that's, that's another way of hiding.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, Way to call that out, Seema.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's a perfectionism comparison. It's another way of hiding. Okay, what are you comparing to? Why you're not like that? Or she has this part. That's really great. I love to. I strive for the to speak the way Michelle Obama speaks. I like the way she speaks, right, she's to the point, she comes across very elegant and polished and she's speaking the truth. Yeah, okay, I'm never going to speak just like her, right, but that's healthy, right, if I start comparing myself with michelle obama right I'm gonna drive myself crazy, absolutely well, and I agree, I love that it's such a good call.
Speaker 1:It's what you're hiding behind, um. But I also tell myself often follow your envy. It's showing you what you want. Oftentimes when we see things and others that we don't have, the reason you're feeling jealous at all is not because you just don't have it. It's like, oh, I'm not acknowledging a want that I have. Okay, well, I want to speak like Michelle Obama. I want. That means I want to be a more eloquent speaker. That means I need to do some reading and some research, maybe start to find practices or places I can learn to be a better speaker. You know, and you're right, you're never going to be exactly, because it's not apples to apples. But you can at least then kind of separate yourself from the comparison and the jealousy and say, oh, there's just something here that I'm wanting, that I'm not acknowledging for myself, that I. Again, it comes back to you, right, you have to be the accountable, responsible one to then take action, because just me sitting around being jealous of somebody is not going to move the needle for me personally.
Speaker 2:Right and you make a good point, ask yourself why am I comparing myself to this person? What does she have that I don't Right? What is that trigger? What is it triggering within me? So maybe it is something that you have that you're not acknowledging, that's dormant and that's ready to come out. Yeah, there are different aspects of us that are ready to come out at different times when we are ready.
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm. Yeah, I agree with that wholeheartedly for sure. So you know, we've talked a little bit about perfectionism and this idea of like being good enough, or am I doing this all right? You know, ritual is kind of a big part of wellness, right, it's a practice. We say it's a practice because you're not showing up to win the game, you're just showing up to, you know, get a little bit better each time. How should our listeners approach? Or how has, uh, how should our approach to wellness evolve, seeing as how you're just what you said just said evolve as our careers and life circumstances change, because inevitably, everything right, the one thing that's inevitable is change. So how do we work through that and continue with our rituals?
Speaker 2:A ritual is it can be very simple, right, right, it doesn't have to be very complicated. Um, you know, like in the morning, what I do. I wake up in the morning and, before I even get out of bed, I think of three things that I am really excited about, or the three things I'm grateful for. Grateful word doesn't really work for me, so I say appreciate, okay, yeah, okay. So what are the three things I appreciate? And then I, I make this tea, I have tea, and then I do some kind of exercise. I like variety, so I'll go for a walk or I'll do Tai Chi or I will do yoga, whatever the mood I I asked my body okay, body, what do you want to do today? What do you need? Right, yeah, A hundred percent.
Speaker 2:So, um, as I'm doing these things, I meditate at the same time in the floor. I'm like very present, right.
Speaker 1:Very present in the moment.
Speaker 2:There are times that I will sit and do meditation separately. I meditate quite a bit too or sometimes I just turn on my favorite song. It could be a spiritual song, it could be something from my faith, or it could be something that I want to dance to my favorite song. Right, yeah, and I allow that time, the first hour of the day, just to be for myself, and then I also have like a nighttime routine. The same way you know. I'll turn off the tv, turn off everything, get off social media. An hour or two hours before I might have tea, if I feel like it, I go in the bedroom, dim the lights and spend time there before I actually go to bed. Sometimes I do bedtime yoga and sometimes I meditate before I go to bed. Sometimes, if I need, sometimes, I do it. Especially I have a podcast too.
Speaker 2:So in between the meetings, in between, my clients and before a podcast, I just center myself. I'll do breathing two minute meditation before my next thing and I'm able to be a hundred percent present. So it doesn't have to be, it can be just one thing. Maybe you just have tea by yourself, maybe sit, have tea out in the nature, out in nature, yeah. So these are things that bring you a peace, that bring you joy. It can be. I also like to have tea with my husband every morning. Mm-hmm, we have that conversation. Sometimes it's not tea, sometimes it's just a very long hug, yeah Right, so think of the things that you want to do that brings you joy, that brings you peace. It gives you energy to you know, start, start your day or end your day or anywhere in between, but it's something that you would do on a regular basis.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I love that idea of the listening because as you become more in tune, I've done this now even when I'm working out, because I'm over 40 now and you know I was last weekend I was gardening and we have like a dug in driveway that's on the hillside and it's got walls on either side and I thought I would be all stealth like and just jump off the wall onto the ground after like pulling a bunch of weeds, and like my knee did not agree with that move at all, and so it's one of those things I'm like okay, well, tomorrow I'm going to ice it, I'm going to elevate them and do the things I'm supposed to do. Take some time and I'll get some rest, because clearly jumping off of little three, four foot walls is not a thing anymore after 40, right. But listening to my body and the rest of the week, I kind of gradually moved into like I don't even always stick with the same workout. I might wake up one morning and I'm like I need to go at it, I need to go hard on a spin class and just get all this frustration out. And other times I'm like you know what? I just need to do some yoga, maybe some yin, where I'm going to be in a pose for three minutes. That's also put ground support, because my body needs the extra help and support right now because I'm hurting and there's just something to that.
Speaker 1:So it's like there's so many little ways, even unplanned, that you can kind of bring that attention and awareness and self-care.
Speaker 1:And I think everything you're talking about with the morning and evening rituals are so helpful for regulating your nervous system and I think the thing that's really helped me being in a household with a family is sharing those expectations of like listen, this is mom's downtime.
Speaker 1:Like you said, I'm putting myself on a timeout. I love that Sharing those expectations and upholding those boundaries with your family is so important because it's so easy to let the interruptions come in. But what you're talking about, too, really gives you that time and ability to be present and gosh, what a gift to be like. I've been sitting sometimes at my kids' sports events and I used to be on my phone checking work, stressing about work, thinking about work, completely missing the moment. And because of some of these practices you're talking about and because of wonderful coaches like you, seema, I have been able to just sit and enjoy and be there for my kids and like be present in the moment and watch all of these amazing little things happen as their lives unfold, and that if you don't do it for anything else, folks do it for that. Being present is just the best gift.
Speaker 2:We're always living in the future or in the past. Right, you have to start living in the present, because the present is what creates your future. If you're happy right now, your next minute and your future is going to be just like that, and when things happen, life is going to happen. Right, people are going to come back and say, Tima, I've been happy every single day, but this thing has happened.
Speaker 1:Life is going to life right. So people are going to come back and say I've been happy every single day, but this thing has happened life is going to life, absolutely, life is going to life, but then it's going to help you.
Speaker 2:You won't read, you'll respond to it versus react to it. Yeah, and that's very different. Those two things are very different, right, you'll be able to be more centered now my family's, like world is falling apart around us and I'm still very calm and calm. Yesterday I was on a phone call with one of my team members and my husband had already gone to bed, but it was something I had said several times and explained very nicely. But he could hear the difference in my tone. I wasn't upset, but I was firm, right, but because they're so used to me being so level-headed and, you know, calm no matter what happens, yeah, just that firmness in my voice. He could tell and he asked me about it this morning what happened, right, so people start, you know, noticing all of these things too yeah, so even journaling some people like journaling, having a practice of journaling, yeah, at any time of the day.
Speaker 2:They sometimes even think it's only in the morning or it's whatever works for you. Yes, right, anything we're talking about, I've said something different. Amy said something different to it. It's all about experimenting. Everyone experiments. Your doctors are experimenting. That's what I noticed and that's why I started experiment. It's like it's my life, right? Why do they have the right to experiment on me? Absolutely, and so it's about trying different things, exploring different things and seeing what it is that you like. People think it's weird talking to your body, but your body knows best, right? Yeah, your body knows best. It knows what it wants. So if you just start communicating and saying sometimes I say, good morning Seema, good morning body, how, how's today? You know, what do you want to do? What are we going to do today? Right, even from people think this is strange. Even from the outfits I'm going to wear, yeah, and you know, on those days I always look and feel the best I love it.
Speaker 1:I mean talk about decision fatigue there for clothes.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's really cool, I'm gonna play around with that too. I think, yeah, just stay curious, get playful and know that, like there's no one right answer, it's really about exploring and finding the right answer for you. I have loved, loved this conversation so much. Simo, we're coming close to time now, so I want to just give our live listening audience a little nudge. Let them know that they are more than welcome to drop questions into the chat if they have any. As we get ready to do that, I am going to move us into our fun little power round, which will be kind of our fun quick questions to get any more last minute tips and advice to our listeners. All right, so what is your go-to five minute wellness ritual when you're having a chaotic day?
Speaker 2:I exercise on the when, when, especially when it's chaotic day. Yeah, because I know I'm going to be a little extra stressed. So I will exercise. Either I'll do like a like a hit kind of exercise or I'll go for a walk. I have a beach near me. I'll walk to the beach and I'll breathe in that sea air and then come back, so that is my best thing to do. We didn't talk about this as much, but what you eat is also going to impact how you feel right.
Speaker 2:So I am a hundred percent all about healthy eating, whole food eating and using supplements to really help balance that. Sometimes, depending on if you're traveling and you're working, you're not always able to feel your body with the best options. Yeah, out there. So having the supplements really, really, and ahead and supplements I agree you will notice the kind of food that you put in. You will notice I can feel that I'm feeling peace yeah, or that I'm feeling uh stressed so especially junk food. You know that's going to add stress to it.
Speaker 1:Avoid junk food.
Speaker 2:Try to it's that's going to add stress to it. Avoid junk food. It's summer now. Try to have more fruits and vegetables as much as possible. Right, feel how caffeine is affecting you. Sometimes. It's affecting you not in a positive way, right? You know, look at all of those things. That is going to be one of the huge things of how you're going to feel. That's everything else we talked about. That's going to support you. But if you're not eating healthy, that may not support you as much, right, cause you're it's you're it's coming from within. Yep.
Speaker 2:So what you're putting in also makes a difference. So I noticed when I eat healthier, especially on those days like today, I made sure I had good protein breakfast because I need to be able to sustain myself longer, especially in the morning. I'm doing interviews, so I wanted to show up perfectly for you guys. So so, making sure that on those days you're having those kinds of meals. So exercise meals, meditation for those chaotic days is what I do.
Speaker 1:I love it. Thank you so much, seema. This has been amazing. This is such a great reminder for all of us that success and wellness aren't competing priorities. They really have to live in conjunction with one another and you know they're really partners in creating a life that's worth living. So you know, helping others, the way that you're doing and surviving and thriving without burnout, hopefully is going to help.
Speaker 1:You know a lot of people, including our listeners, write their own success stories. So you know again, folks that are listening, please remember that wellness isn't selfish. It is a strategy, it is a way to move forward. It's not something that's going to slow you down or hold you back. It's something that you have to do. Please, please, especially in the world we're living in right now, make sure that you are taking care of yourself, and then that'll fuel you to help take care of and show up for others. All of you can check out and connect with Seema on LinkedIn, and don't forget to check out her Uplift Media website, where she continues to help purpose-driven entrepreneurs transform their stories into movements that matter. Seema, thank you so much for joining us today in the Power Lounge. This has all been so fantastic. We really appreciate you and all the work that you're doing for women.
Speaker 2:Thank you, Amy. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to talk to your community. Thank you, Amy. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to talk to your community, and I just want to say you know, if there's one selfless thing you want to do for your community, that's to take care of yourself. You have an amazing story. Create what you want, create the life that you want and share it.
Speaker 1:I love it. All right, everyone. Thank you so much for joining us. We appreciate you. Speaking of self-care, you're going to have to go back and listen to some of our classic, most amazing episodes. We have close to 150 amazing stories from women who work in digital marketing, advertising and tech, as well as amazing coaches and women who are just helping us bring a more well-rounded view to our world and our personal and professional growth with the Together Digital Power Lounge. I'm on vacation for the next two Fridays, so I'll be spending some time by the beach with my family. Appreciate all of our amazing team at Hercast Media for being here for us and supporting us For all of you. Until then, we hope you keep listening, Check out past episodes, Check out Seema's website. Connect with her on LinkedIn. Until next time, we're excited to see you all with us here back in the Power Lounge. Until then, keep asking, keep giving and keep growing. We'll see you next time. Bye, everybody.
