Practical Strategies for Mental Wellness

The warning sign almost nobody catches is not exhaustion. It is guilt.

What if the thing burning you out is not your inbox, your clients, or your calendar? What if the call is coming from inside the house? This conversation went somewhere most burnout talks never go, and I am still thinking about it.

Burnout prevention is not a luxury topic for women in digital. It is survival. So many of us are high functioning, holding it together on camera and in meetings while our shoulders creep up to our ears. Marian knows that pattern from the inside, and she shares the practical strategies that helped her build what she calls a depression proof life.

Marian Mills is a mental wellness speaker, award winning voice artist, Army veteran, former social worker, and founder of Depression Proof Your Life. After burnout pushed her out of the career she loved, she built the Depression Proof Method, a practical approach to everyday mental resilience for professionals, women in leadership, and female entrepreneurs online.

Key Takeaways

Guilt about resting is one of the earliest and most overlooked signs of burnout among professional women in digital.

People do not burn out because they stop caring; they burn out because they care so deeply they forget to care for themselves.

Awareness is the foundation of burnout prevention, from tense shoulders to stress headaches to emotional numbness.

Asking for help is a muscle, and real strength is knowing when to reach out, not handling everything alone.

A simple pause between meetings, calls, and tasks can reset your nervous system before stress compounds.

Marian Mills said, 'People don't get burned out because they don't care. They actually burn out because they care so deeply and they end up forgetting to take care of themselves.'

Marian Mills said, 'I used to think that strength meant handling it all on my own. I learned that the real strength is actually knowing when to reach out.'

Timestamps

00:00 Welcome and meet Marian Mills

01:50 From social work to voiceover to Depression Proof Your Life

05:06 The burnout patterns professional women share

08:14 Rest is part of getting stronger

08:35 The Depression Proof Method in practice

14:04 Military discipline, recovery, and vulnerability

15:16 Ask, Give, Grow and learning to ask for help

23:25 Your voice, your energy, and your mental wellness

26:58 Protecting your energy in emotionally demanding work

32:20 Auditions, interviews, and positive self talk

36:26 Early warning signs: numbness, guilt, irritability, resentment

41:14 The first thing to do when burnout is on the horizon

46:40 Protecting your mental health in the year ahead

50:25 Power Round

55:26 How to connect with Marian Mills

Connect with Marian Mills

Website: https://www.depression-prooflife.com

Voiceover: https://www.marianmillsvoice.com

LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/company/depression-proof-your-life

Email: info@depression-proof-life.com

Transcript

Burnout Starts With Self Honesty

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Uh as a social worker, I didn't. I mean, that's just just to be honest, I did not. I did not protect I I I did it by drinking every night. I think the number one thing was um feeling guilty about resting. That was one of the things that I actually noticed within myself is emotional numbness. Burnout. The call is coming from inside the house.

SPEAKER_05 0:23

We always think it's all the external factors, right?

Meet Marion And Her Mission

SPEAKER_05 0:37

Hello, everyone, and welcome to our weekly power lounge. This is your place to hear conversations from those who have power to share. My name is Amy Vaughn, and I am the owner and chief empowerment officer of Together Digital, a diverse and collaborative community of women who work in digital and choose to share their knowledge, power, and connections. You can join the movement at TogetherIndigital.com. And today we are joined by Marion Mills, an award-winning voice artist, Gold Tele Award winner, and founder of Depression Proof Your Life with a background in social work and lived experience as a disabled Army veteran. Marian brings a rare, rare brings rare authenticity and emotional depth to everything that she does, both in her voiceover artistry and in her mission to help professionals build resilience before burnout takes hold. Her work focuses on practical strategies for mental health advocacy, burnout prevention, and creating what she calls a depression-proof life. We are thrilled to have her here with us today to share her insights on how to protect your energy, recognize the signs of burnout, and ask for the support when you need it most. Welcome. We're so excited to have you today.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

I am so happy to be here. Thank you so much. I really do appreciate it. I'm always honored to be able to talk about uh such a subject that's passionate, that I'm definitely passionate about. So thank you.

SPEAKER_05 1:55

Exactly. Yeah, no, we're more than thrilled to have you here and honored as well. You know, these are the things that we talk about a lot, even though we are professional women who work in mostly digital and marketing fields. This is all very ramp, rampant and prevalent, and it bleeds into the work that we do. Um, but one of the things we like to do at Together Digital is to also understand those who are coming with their wisdom to us. And so we would love to hear more about your journey from social work to voice artistry and then defining like depression proof of your life, which is all kind of feels like a very unique journey. What movement in your own life made you realize that you needed to create some sort of framework or method like this to share then with others?

SPEAKER_01 2:34

Yeah. Um, yeah. So thank you for the, again, like I said, for the opportunity. But in all honesty, it came from, of course, my own personal experience. And simply put, what made me move forward with creating Depression Proof Your Life was actually just seeing and hearing so much, so many mental health cases, so many cases of burnout. Uh, when you know, just in being in different rooms when you hear about people losing um the passion for something that they they once had, you know, uh, or even organizations losing good people because of burnout. And because of what happened to me, you know, in my journey in social work, social work was all ever all I ever wanted to do. That's what I went to school for. I I loved where I was, what I was doing, but I was burnt out. And yeah, I what I understood was um, well, I want to share the journey as far as social work into voiceover. I had no life. I literally had no life outside of social work. Day and night I was doing social work. Of course, I had I was on call, so I had to work on call. Then because I had no life, I realized because I had my struggles in the past, I knew the signs and symptoms of overwhelm and burnout and what would land me in the hospital, possibly. So I was like, a lot of people had told me I had a very strong voice, so I was like, let me look into voiceover. So I started being coached as voice in voiceover. That's what actually led me to the journey of that. When I realized that I had to leave social work to save my own mental health, yeah, I was like, well, I have all this equipment for voiceover. Why don't I look into that? So that's actually how I got into that journey. So yeah, like I said, uh the journey of uh depression brief your life was you know, definitely trying to uh give people tools the same way that I was able to um uh get out of help someone else before they actually lose uh the passion that they actually have or uh feel that they're so passionate about.

SPEAKER_05 4:37

So I love that. And that's so commonly like the journey for a lot of women that we have on here as guests that have started their own businesses and frameworks and speaking and things like that, is that they have a lot of real-world experience in the sense of like what it is that they're trying to help others with. And then they see the pattern. And then once they recognize the pattern, then they begin to create things from it that then in turn help others. And it's just I love it so much. I mean, I just think about for all the hardship that we all go through, how many people we've had on this podcast that turn it into a thriving business that supports them and their family, but then actually helps other people. Helping other people, yeah. I love that you took the the steps, the necessary steps to make this a thing versus just noticing it and moving on, right?

SPEAKER_01 5:21

Yeah, thank you.

SPEAKER_05 5:22

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:23

I remember asking the question. I was like, how can I I was like, okay, now that I'm on the other side of it, how can I create something where it can help other people? And it took time uh looking deeply within myself and trying to figure out how what those steps look like. And right, it's can it's a continuous journey as well. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:40

Mm-hmm. No, definitely. And because of it, you've been able to work with everyone from major corporations and brands to veterans' organizations and in all these spaces.

Why High Performers Burn Out

SPEAKER_05 5:49

You know, speaking of pattern recognition, what was a common like burnout pattern that you were seeing either then or now, especially among women, professional women?

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Right. Um I I think the number one thing was um feeling guilty about resting. Like, you know, um, yeah, I uh whether it's taking a vacation or just taking breaks, those many breaks that you need throughout the day. Um believing that they actually have to do it all and not reaching out for help, not uh delegating. Um and then also setting boundaries. Uh uh and I think that that comes with the whole, you know, not being able to say no, um, and prioritizing things. So yeah, but you know, with it for myself, but even in talking to whether it's individuals, corporations, students uh at different universities that I've spoken to, people don't get burnout because they don't care. They actually burn out because they care so deeply and they forgetting they end up forgetting to take care of themselves. And that's exactly what happened to me. And that's another running thing that I've seen amongst a lot of uh, you know, women in leadership as well as uh, you know, as entrepreneurs as well.

SPEAKER_05 7:05

Yeah, I can see that. Guilt's an interesting one because I don't know that I would have like that would have been like the first thing that I would have thought like that's that's the sign of burnout, but it is that constant guilt of I can't be everyone and everything and everywhere all at once, but I always feel the need to because that is exactly what's going to because you can't, you won't be able to, and that's at that point where you're burning out because you can't.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

And you know, um, it's funny, I used to pride myself on being able to multitask. And yeah, as once I um got on the other side of of uh mental health and and and just was building this this program, I realized that is something that is like you said, it's it's it's it's unreasonable, but that used to be one of the skill sets that you would list, you know, like I'm able to multitask. Like that is, you know, I'm I'm good at what, you know, I'm able to juggle a lot of different things. But um as I've I told someone, I was like, as I got older, I said I realized that multitasking, I I I can't do it. I can't take on too much. But I think that that's something that's good to be aware of. It's like I I can't just say no.

SPEAKER_05 8:15

You know, that and I would also emphasize too, the rest, you know, this idea of like rest as a revolution, this idea that rest is actually productive. Like I I even have to tell my 13-year-old daughter that, you know, sometimes she's like, you know, she had soccer tryouts this week and she was really hard on herself about drilling herself every single day and running every single day. And there was one point where I said, What if you just took a rest day? Because you're gonna perform better tomorrow if you rest today. She was like, I never thought about that. You just always think about improving and getting better and getting stronger and getting faster. And it's like you don't understand that rest is actually a part of getting stronger. You know, giving your body a chance to heal so that you can go further the next day. So yeah, rest is another really important

Building A Depression Proof Life

SPEAKER_05 8:58

one. Let's talk a little bit about depression, your depression-proof method. Could you walk us through a little bit of like what that means, what it looks like in practice for someone who is maybe spinning on the hamster wheel of life, like many of us are right now?

SPEAKER_01 9:12

So I really love this question. Uh you know, as I told you before we came on, I really love uh the questions, but this is one of my favorite, I think, uh, because when people hear depression proof your life, I think sometimes people automatically think you'll never, I'll never experience depression uh again. And that's not what it means. It means being intentional about building habits, being aware, and building resilience, you know, to actually strengthen those things. And some of some of the things that we were just listing, a lot of times people experience those things, you know, whether they're you know, have a lot of tension in their shoulders, having stress headaches, but they chalk it up to oh, I had a stressful client, I had a difficult phone call, I had a really stressful meeting. But those are all signs and sick signals that our body is letting us know. Like so that awareness that that is what it's all about. So imagine you're running late, right? You're running late for a meeting, and you're going from meeting to meeting, day by day by day, just going from one thing to the next, one thing to the next. Your phone hasn't stopped ringing, people have to stop knocking on your door. You're exhausted when you get home, don't have time for your family. Again, need instead of resting, you're running around trying to make up for different things that you weren't able to do. So you have that, that's where that hamster will, right? That everyone is actually experiencing.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:33

But the but the thing is is to take time throughout your day. When you you hang up that phone, just take a deep breath and just literally take a minute and pause.

SPEAKER_03 10:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:46

And that's however you can find it in your day, to pause, take a minute before you rush to the next thing. It doesn't mean that you've actually handled whatever that stressful thing was that you have had had to deal with on the phone. But before you go to that next meeting, holding that and carrying it with you, yeah, you know, that that is that is the that is the that is what burnout can begin to look like. But like you said, it's it's it creeps up on you. It's very it's very subtle. But that's why we have to be very intentional every single day and um and consistent, because every day we have some type of stress that can throw us off. Uh, but we have to actually be aware of those different things, you know. Like ask yourself like, hold on, what exactly is happening? What just happened? What's draining me? Why do I feel this way? Um, and what and sometimes even what do I need to do right now to kind of calm my nerves a little bit before I go into this next thing?

SPEAKER_05 11:44

Yeah. I mean, what you're talking about, that awareness is so key because I think for me, burnout is numbness. Like it's, you know, it's me living from my neck up and not my neck down. Like I don't notice, and it's funny because I thank God for my girlfriends, we'll be like having a conversation. And my friend Lacretia, if you're listening, I love you, Lou, she'll be like, Amy, drop your shoulders, drop your shoulders, because they'll be up by my ears and she can just tell that I'm tense. But because I'm looking at them and not seeing myself, they I don't, I don't even notice, you know. And then when you do come home and you kind of just crash or you feel the aches and the pains in your body, you think, Well, what did I do? How did I move today? Sometimes it's not at all how you moved physically.

SPEAKER_03 12:25

It was like that emotional work thing you're everything feeling. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 12:28

So yeah, I think that there's a lot to be said about that and just recognizing that burnout might not even feel like anything. It could be numbness. And that's literally you just like you said, I love that analogy of like going from one thing to the next, to the next, to the next. It's like this building, right? Of all this tension and all this stress that you literally carry from one thing to the next. But that simple moment of pause and breathe and get your nervous system back in check. How huge is that? That's definitely gonna help you cope and be less likely to fall into a sense of despair, right? Because you feel like you have a sense of control over your body, because it is really like your nervous system informing your brain. Like, hey, we're not you're not listening to us down here. Hello.

SPEAKER_01 13:11

We're trying to let you know. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 13:13

And that's true.

SPEAKER_01 13:14

And that just say I applaud your girlfriend, like to have people in your life. It that's twofold. Like it's really important. It's twofold. It's not only having someone important in your life that can actually tell you, hey, yeah, drop your shoulders. Do you realize you're hunched over or whatever it may be? But you actually accepting it and and and and and and not getting upset and offended by it. It's like, I appreciate you for notice, noticing that in me, because sometimes we we aren't really aware, like you said, of things that we do and our physiological state, but other people can notice those things. So that's important to have those people in your life. So awesome.

SPEAKER_05 13:50

Oh, so much. And I think a lot of women that are listening right now are those A-type, like high-functioning women who, you know, we know how to put on the show. We know how to wear the masks, we know how to show up looking calm and composed, no matter what's going on inside, right? It's like the duck on the water, right? And the feet are paddling really fast underneath.

SPEAKER_03 14:08

Exactly. Yes.

SPEAKER_05 14:09

You definitely need people who can look at you and be like, I see, I know what's going on. And then call you out for it. So, yes, 100% very fortunate to have friends like that. So, yes.

Resilience From Service And Recovery

SPEAKER_05 14:21

All right. Let's talk a little bit about your experience too. Like you were an art, you are an Army veteran, um, and you have navigated systems and challenges that many of our members maybe haven't experienced, although we do have a few veterans within the community. How has this shaped your approach to resilience and mental health advocacy? Because I think that is definitely an area where there's a lot of love, support, attention needed there, obviously.

SPEAKER_01 14:47

Yeah. Um, I I don't think I appreciated it, of course, at the time. I think over the years, uh, you know, I've uh can can honestly say that I appreciate what I learned. But I believe that the military taught me, of course, discipline and also perseverance perseverance. But recovery taught me vulnerability. And the reason I think that that's so important is because both all of those go well with resilience. They help build resilience. Uh because I feel like vulnerability is about being honest and open with ourselves. We have to be aware of that vulnerability. So um, so yeah, I I would I would say that collectively, that's what mental health, and when I say recovery, I'm talking about uh the recovery from alcoholism as well as the you know the mental illness, uh, and and having that uh discipline and the perseverance to keep moving forward, but at the same time being honest with myself. But I can't go on. It's like, you know what, I need to take a break. I I I need this moment to myself or whatever it is, what steps I need to take.

SPEAKER_05 15:51

So that's phenomenal. Love it.

Learning To Ask And Receive Help

SPEAKER_05 15:55

All right. So many of our members struggle with asking for support. We do have a framework within the community, our ask give girl philosophy, which is really about helping women learn to ask for what they need, no guilt, no shame, to give without judgment. Um, but asking for help and receiving help is a very hard thing. So for me, it's like a muscle you have to learn how to build. Yeah, I like that to kind of get used to because a lot of times too, you'll even just finish a meeting with a woman and you've maybe shared a lot, talked about a lot, griped about a lot. And then you look at her and you say, How can I help you? And then she'll be like deer in headlights, or she'll maybe get a little teary because one, she's not used to somebody asking her what she needs and how they they can have help. And then also they just don't we just don't even know like a million things to ask for your help on, but like what feels right, what isn't right, what is what's fair to ask, what's not fair to ask. And so you really have to just learn. Um, and then there's also this underlying belief that you know, if we're asking for help or weak or that we should be able to handle this alone. How do you address that mindset?

SPEAKER_01 16:56

Yeah, um, I I can relate to all of what you said, and and I really love the deer in the headlights type of thing. Because, like you said, a lot of times people's like, wow, like I don't even know how to answer that because I'm not used to someone I'm yeah, um, but I I I used to think that you know, strength meant handling handling it all on my own and you know, being able to multitask, um, and even in asking for help, I had to learn that that there was strength in that. So I learned that the real strength is actually knowing when to reach out, understanding that I can't handle it all on my own. Uh you know, and and I said the word earlier, you know, even just delegating, and but I still I go back to awareness. Awareness is the the the foundation of the framework of Depression Proof Your Life. If you're not aware of these things, yeah, building your awareness, getting to know self, really understanding what makes you because everyone is different, you know. It may be that your shoulders are tense, it may be that you have stress headaches, your hands are sweaty, you're grinding your teeth, all of those different things. And the lady said that she realizes that she grips her hands so tight that you know and and uh that was the first time that I'd ever heard that, but that is self-awareness, just realizing like I I need to take a minute. So, so yeah, um I believe that being aware is like the the first is the first step. Being aware and then knowing exactly what's the next step that I need to do, and always making sure that you're taking a pause between and not not rushing. I think so many times we rush through so many different things just in life. Just go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And sometimes just pausing.

SPEAKER_04 18:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

And doing nothing is good. As you said, rest is good, you know, not just physical rest, but just you know, taking a moment. Yeah, just a mental break. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:05

I think we've forgotten how to be bored. You know, I have this conversation also with my kids. We were on earlier, they're nine and 13, and I tell them bored is a privilege. You know, bored is such a privilege that you need to, and we our brains need that time and space, you know. And then we need to figure out how to fill it constructively versus, you know, kind of just, you know, mindlessly. And I think um the other thing you said that I wanted to kind of reinforce it's so true. How many of you that are listening right now? What are you holding tight? What are you clenching? For me, it's like my upper body is usually my legs, my lower body, my glutes, my jaw, like there's always something. But like you said, it's such an easy, simple practice. The next time you're sitting in a tense meeting or on a phone call or just driving in the car, think about like what am I holding on to? What is so tight right now? And just kind of letting that go is a big step. And then I think in the asking for help and then also receiving it, it is, it's just practice. And I the other thing I try to encourage our women to do is to remember that people really want to help. They do like, yeah, it makes us feel good. And as long as you're not taking advantage of everyone, which none of the listening are gonna do that, you'll be so surprised by how many people are just thrilled that you ask for their help and support, right? Because they get to show up, they get to be the hero. And who doesn't want to do that sometimes, you know? And then I also think go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

No, no, no, go ahead. I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_05 20:31

Outsider perspective as well, something that you said sparked a memory of something that happened this week. My daughter called me, had a massive migraine. I was at work, she started throwing up. I was really worried she might have had a concussion from soccer. And I was like, I think I need to go home. Um, my community manager was working from home that day, and I felt terrible because I was like, I called her, I was like, I need you to come in. I need, I have to go home now. You know, and she's like 24 years old. She's like, doesn't have kids. And she's like, Why do you need to go? Like, she didn't ask me this, but she her first thought was like, Why do you even have to go in? My mom, I could be at home or at school, wherever, thrown up, and she wouldn't come rushing to my side. But she's like, that's she told me, she's like, I'm telling you this as a compliment. She's like, But that's just the kind of mom you are. That's the kind of person that you are. You will drop everything and go to your kids. Because I was telling her that I was making plans for tonight, and I'm like, I feel guilty for going out tonight. And she's like, You have been there for your kids all week long with doctor's appointments and her getting sick and all of this. You do so much for them. You can have one night. So it's again, this is where the outside perspective, having people, when you like you said earlier, allow yourself to be vulnerable. They can they can be that mirror for you and be like, yo, listen, why are you like the guilt? You said it, the guilt, like, why are you feeling guilty, Amy? You've shown up for your kids all week. Yes, you can take care of it.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

Yeah, yeah. What were you gonna say? You know, um you know, this this subject as you were talking, just made me think about a conversation I had with someone in my family. Um, they were always that that person that you go to, you know, if you they they they were good listener. Well, I say were, I mean they still are. You know, but but one day he came to me and said it it's a lot to hear, you know, to constantly hear and to constantly try to be there. And and I felt so bad. And I said, you know what? I appreciate you for pointing this out. I said, but you handled it so well. I didn't realize that it was too heavy for you or that it was too much for you just over time. So I so what you're saying is so true that a lot of times people do want and need that help. Sometimes even if they're not uh if uh if they're uh they afraid or don't know how to ask but yeah that was so and this was just a couple of years ago it was just so um eye opening eye opening for me like I was like wow he's handled this stuff like for years and it's like yeah this is too much like I I can't yes and I rem and I remember telling and I rem I remember as you were saying it that's why it popped in my head I was like I remember literally having that conversation with him and saying but you've always had I'm like yeah okay I've always handled it but it's not it it wasn't the best and and and I'm telling you now yeah I'm telling yeah I'm telling you now like I I it's too much I can't handle it's the boundary absolutely absolutely and I appreciated it yeah yeah that's so good and that's also another reason to always check on your strong friends right and your strong family you know absolutely they got that get old exterior but there's you know we've all got something going on that we could use a little help or support in or some better boundaries we could create right all right um you know the as I was kind of looking through like your work and some of your voiceover talent there's just so much um empathy and authenticity in all the projects that you do.

Voiceover Emotions And Protecting Energy

SPEAKER_05 23:43

So do you think that there's a connection between how you show up this is just kind of more fun technical for um those of you are audiophiles who actually do talent like casting and and uh things for vocal um so the difference between do you think there's a difference in a connection of how we show up vocally or energetically and our mental wellness and then how do you protect your own energy while doing a lot of them well actually let's answer that first question first because the second question is a very big question too. So do you think there's a connection between how we show up vocally or energetically and our mental wellness and then we'll get to the other half.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Oh absolutely it is it absolutely is um um again I told you already but this is another one of my favorite questions um it absolutely is and it's because you know people hear you know the voice and and and they hear the finished product not realizing you know the emotion that that really goes behind it. Just a little short story I was in a um study group a couple of weeks ago and this creative director she is amazing like she knows how to pull things out of you and and again you know we we have it's it's all about being authentic to the copy you're reading words that aren't yours but you need they need to sound like they're coming from you that you yeah that you understand what what's being said. So she asked you know you know what how you know who are you talking to who who you know asked all these questions. I was in tears and like matter of fact I remember looking at her and I said I can't look at you she said I need you to look at me I need you to look at you know this is this is how you're going to get what they they need for you know for this particular piece. And I was in tears but uh before the end of it but it was like wow but again what she was what what we were able to create in doing that. So yeah that just speaks to you know actually having to to to give of yourself emotionally uh but again uh uh it happened to someone else in in the group later on uh and she again had to take that moment she said uh you know whenever she was finished I need to go off camera you know and just to take that moment and sometimes that's what that is what we have to do and I know for myself uh I love uh being able to go outside watch my hummingbirds uh garden doing different things like that you know just to kind of reset myself sometimes you know and I remember talking to her early on in my career uh I told her if I had not been through all the things mentally that I had been through yeah voiceover would have been very difficult for me because you know you're in a booth by yourself you're not getting a lot of feedback on how well you're doing and then on top of that you're doing 50 you know 25 50 75 uh auditions a day yeah you might not hear anything back for quite some time and sometimes you may get shortlisted which means they're interested but they're kind of you're narrowing down and you still might not be be chosen that can play with your mental so um yes yeah you know so so uh so yeah I that so definitely they definitely go hand in hand. So what was the second part of the question?

SPEAKER_05 26:43

Oh real quick I was gonna say it just takes me back I used to do a lot of uh voiceover casting and coaching and uh directing when I was a creative director and it's such a great art form. I love it so so much. There's just so much behind um like the intonation of the voice and the emphasis you create on things like it you just wouldn't think that there's a million ways something can be said that there are absolutely a million ways something can be said and it's it's truly an art form. So I love that you're it's yeah it's one of those things like we just we need those good voices especially when you're like and I love what you said too about like it needs to sound like they're your words. If that's not on your profile you need to add that to your profile. I will make your words sound like my words because that's how much I believe them. I love that so much as a CD creator director be like done hire this lady outside of your voice being thank you I'm definitely I'm taking note of that. Thank you I appreciate that and then this one here is a big question of like how do you protect your own energy while doing such emotionally demanding work I mean especially again like I would imagine even for this in social work like there you hear and see a lot how do you protect your own sense of peace and energy when you're having to show up for people who are just going through so much yeah um you know um as a social worker I didn't I mean that's just just to be honest I did not I did not protect I I I did it by drinking every night I and and and and it took you know over time but I realized over time I wasn't just drinking on the weekends.

SPEAKER_01 28:12

I wasn't just drinking you know like on Wednesday you know that halfway mark to the it was ever you know it got to to be a point of every single day and like I said earlier I did not have a life outside of social work. I I I wasn't going I wasn't doing things you know of course I spent time with my family but again it was like all right I got to get back you know I was trying to play catch up with notes so I poured everything I was holding everything everything that I saw everything that I heard if that I was I was just holding it and I was using alcohol you know of course with with the mental health was not helping um but now like I said I I I I really appreciate being able to if I if I can't connect with a copy for example instead of just trying to beat it up beat it up because people can hear that people can hear even when I'm in a speak you know in a speaking engagement if I'm like like really really rushed and I feel you're gonna feel it people can hear that you know people can hear so it's really important I remember when I first got into voiceover this guy asked me he said do you meditate? I said sure he was like his own thing to do he said because you he said you you you're just all over the place. He was like you're all over he's like calm now right and I'm like this is just my energy he was like do you drink coffee he said no don't and I was like I don't drink coffee he was like okay if you do it but it's got like he was and I was like and I just did not understand but of course over over time of being in voiceover I realized yeah you know you really have to center yourself like for example if someone is really anxious because they haven't booked anything for a while um and and they're like okay I gotta get this that that anxiety of oh I gotta get this I gotta it comes through and you're you know and even if you don't hear it because like you were saying what we the way we think we sound is not always the way we actually sound you know but other people can actually tell us or you know different things that we may be doing it's the same way in voiceover um and and that's why I appreciate some there are times that I cannot connect with a copy it's like I know how it's I know I know what the script is saying I know the meaning but the words aren't coming out the way that you know with the intensity on certain words the way I need it to I'll go outside watch my hummingbirds just bring me joy um gardening you know just just something and while I'm out there I'm not necessarily thinking about oh okay I gotta figure out how it's not even on my mind anymore but what I have found is however long I stay out there whenever I come back in bam it's like that there it is and it's because sometimes that that is why it's so important just to be able to step away. Yes and and and I realize when I talk to different organizations that's why talking about burnout is extremely important to me because just I I I like talking to uh the organization as a whole but of course when I have smaller groups where I I have supervisors you know only I I I can have conversations and real conversations with letting them know how important it is to make sure that you give your staff that time that break you know even if it's five minutes if they say that they are feeling overwhelmed give them that time or maybe you step in for for for for your for your staff um whatever it is that you need if they're telling you that they um need something you know try to be there for them uh so so yeah uh I I I appreciate being able to just step away coming back like and just refreshed and being able to do whatever I need to do. And I think when people can do that in the organizations for themselves that's why it's so important and when I talk to these organizations when I talk to students it's important for you us to do what we can do for ourselves but also setting boundaries and letting upper management know and leaderships and leadership know these are the steps that you need to take as well because one question I always ask uh people uh you know especially you know when I have leadership in the room how comfortable are you having a conversation if your staff was to come to you about something heavy or about something that emotional just whatever it may be and a lot of them like I I I I wouldn't really know how to handle that. Yeah and I although I appreciate the especially in the helping field I I'll I want to make that point especially in uh fields where uh people are actually carrying things heavy uh with for their clients and a lot of times I I hear them say no I I wouldn't really feel comfortable I wouldn't really know what to say it's like that's something to work on because that's something that they need and if you're not the person you need to be able to say I need you you can go talk to Amy. I'll send a yes call Amy or send her an email let her know that she's gonna you know that you're gonna go talk to her or something like that. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:56

Yeah a lot of good stuff in there one of the things I was thinking of as you were talking about auditioning it kind of even relates to job interviewing. Oh so I think a lot of folks who are listening right now are kind of in that in-between of you know job searching and uh whether they're not working and looking or working while looking that stress that tension it does really come through you know and it it does change the tone and the shape of the interview. And I think people can will account for nerves but um you know at the same time it's still like first impressions are first impressions. And I love how you keep referring to your hummingbirds like my family, my great grandmother loved hummingbirds. I have like a hummingbird tattoo on my arm. My mom, my sister have the same one. So I love my hummingbirds. I love birds in general and um it sounds wild but I did hear a while back about actually no it was a therapist who told me that um this bird song actually does reset your nervous system. So even if you can't step outside just pulling up like some bird sound and like sitting in a quiet room for a minute what it does is like from an evolutionary standpoint, we would never hear bird song if there were threats nearby. So when you hear bird song, you know your body knows instinctually that you are safe. If there are no birds it's too quiet.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

That is so good. That is so true.

SPEAKER_05 34:14

But if you hear the song you're like okay your nervous system knows you're not in danger. And so that can really help us if they're calm you can be calm right yeah yep yep I love that I've learned that that's been right isn't that cool and I mean between that and bird watching I think like it's just people like will tease you about it like oh bird nerd but I'm like from an evolutionary standpoint there's a reason why we are drawn to these things and why people do it and they find it so soothing.

SPEAKER_01 34:40

Look I told my family I'm literally turning into a bird lady because I have um well four hummingbird feeders but I also have uh you know just regular bird feeders in my yard hanging from the trees yeah hanging from a stream of lights like but but they are there's just such a joy to watch just so peaceful yeah um you know uh to the auditions and uh job interviewing self self-talk um positive self-talk is extremely important in my mental health journey I realized just how powerful the mind is your mind can your mind can believe whatever you tell it whether it's if it whether it's something positive or whether it's something negative it's going to be true that your your whatever it is um and what I had to tell myself uh is and I've all and I'm a believer so I I believe that what what what's for me is for me. Like if if something is for me I don't care how many other people audition for it I don't care what mistake I may think that I have made right or you know or like you said even for uh an interview if you feel and and I don't know about you but I I can remember some of the times that I actually I just I was like uh I don't think I got it you know how do you think you did I don't think I got it I I I made a mistake I tripped up I spilled what you know whatever it is and they were like I got the job I I didn't think I you know um so so if it's if it's for you it's for you and I think that that's something that we should you know try to tell ourselves yeah so that we don't beat ourselves up and and blame ourselves because we can't force it right we can't force it because we don't know what people want um and sometimes as a believer for myself sometimes you may not get the job because it's something that God is trying to protect you from right that that you don't need to be in that space even though no matter how bad you want it. So yeah just wanted to share that yeah I love it.

SPEAKER_05 36:33

No I absolutely wholeheartedly agree. It also reminds me of the line whether you think you can or can't you're right.

SPEAKER_01 36:38

Yes. Yeah that never made sense to me you know but but of course over time it makes a lot of sense in it.

SPEAKER_05 36:45

Yeah we do a good job of getting in our own ways that's for sure. Absolutely we do all right so we've talked quite a bit about burnout but we're gonna keep touching on it because it's a big big topic and is probably going to continue to be for some time but it definitely creeps up on us slowly.

Early Signs And First Steps

SPEAKER_05 37:01

I mentioned earlier for me it's kind of almost like numbness um which can definitely make it sneaky.

SPEAKER_01 37:07

What are some of the early warning signs that you've learned to recognize both in yourself and the people that you work with when it comes to burnout yeah well it's funny that of course I know you said it earlier but that was one of the things that I actually noticed within myself is emotional numbness especially around the lab um right before in 2021 before I actually uh left social work that's where I was I I it was just I was going through the motions it was and I had been that way for quite some time and because I know the signs and sometimes not only because of my own self but just because of my degree I'm very aware of all the different um uh all the things that you can do to you know you know self-care I was not doing any of those things and of course irritability I think that that's another big one that sometimes people dismiss um I know for myself anytime I have a conversation with someone I'm dealing with someone that I have dealt with in the past and I I you know they they're very short I I'm very like are you okay you you just don't sound like yourself you know I'm I'm just checking in you know um and sometimes it goes over well and sometimes it doesn't and the reason I'm saying that is because I I think a lot of times when we are trying to reach out to someone to help them if we get our head bit off like leave me alone there's nothing wrong with me it's like I won't bother you then answer your answer. Right. Yeah you know and sometimes yeah that that is that is just the answer and and but some a lot of times we get offended ourselves and it's like well I just want to help you then it's like but that's that's you can tell that that that that's not them that you touched the nerve.

SPEAKER_05 38:49

Yeah another one I think I would throw out there is resentment. Oh as a sign of burnout because I've worked with so many folks that I think are so fantastic and talented and capable and competent. And they just become so bitter and resentful. And it's not because they're bad people it's just because they know and feel the weight of all the work they're doing and they just can't believe that anybody else can do it. And then they're holding on to perfectionism and then it just makes them increasingly disappointed and ultimately resentful. So I would throw resentment in there for sure.

SPEAKER_01 39:26

No I love that one and again you know that you know the list could go on and on you know uh you know but when you said resentment it kind of kind of smiled because it made me think uh when I was uh going to school for um uh to get to get my degree in uh my master's degree I failed my um my research class and of course in master's in program you cannot fail anything right you can't make anything below a C and I uh failed my class and um it was very hard that that was that was a very hard pill to swallow because of course the the vision that I had for myself right and and for you know the way that everything was going to work out and of course I was you know on on Facebook at the time um um and um I was seeing people post you know their graduation people that I would gone to school with uh people that I was in internships with that they had they actually got the job at the internship that I you know it's like I I started I started resent I I I had to get off of social media because I started like really like that was supposed to be me like no that wasn't supposed to be you you know like I was I that that resentment I could tell it started setting in and I was like what am I doing? Like I'm hating on these people that that that that are you know that are are are where I want to be but they didn't do anything wrong you know uh so I had to really check myself and I I actually had to get off social media for a while because I if I didn't you know it would just it would have just festered and festered yeah yeah and I was like matter of fact that was the first time I actually did like a uh a a 5k or 8k I started doing these things it was like I have to get out like I cannot sit behind this computer like what are you doing?

SPEAKER_05 41:05

Oh you got the job you know I was like I can't do that that cannot be me so yeah right well good for you for turning that around and for recognizing I mean sometimes it is like basic also another good line is like comparison is the thief of joy. And I find when I start to compare myself to other people it's not that I'm jealous. It's I have an unmet need or there's something there that I want that I'm not acknowledging that I want and need. And so for me it's not really about jealousy or envy. It's like I'm I'm there's something I am lacking that I haven't taken the steps to become aware of and do something about it. And there's just no sense in comparing yourself to others because their journey is completely different than yours. You have no clue what they've gone through to get where they got to it might look easy but that doesn't mean it was easy.

SPEAKER_01 41:48

It doesn't mean it was yeah that's true.

SPEAKER_05 41:51

100% all right so for women who are just starting to recognize they might be headed towards burnout what is one thing that they should do first um I guess I would say be aware of what it is.

SPEAKER_01 42:10

It's almost like what you were just saying what what what what have you done? Are you actually comparing yourself you know what is it you know is it's are there lessons that you have ignored in the past that you need to actually get over those little humps in order to achieve whatever goal it is um are you are you in a situation where you could possibly stay in the field that you're in but just be go in another area and I I I told someone that's what what I love about social the degree having a degree in social work. You can work with any number of people any you know number of agencies um talk to someone whether it's someone professionally or um you know a close friend family member something like that. And then of course just figure out if there's what you can actually do about it because early stages of burnout people can um take the steps to fix that burnout and I mean to fix the burnout isn't even the really uh what uh the proper thing to say but you know it can actually be prevented but uh so if it's early or early on in the stage yeah talk to someone talk to if if if it's someone that is uh you're you're actually working for yourself take the time off that you need hire other people to to to act delegate some work because sometimes you may just be taking on too much um and take a look at the goals that you have written down because sometimes you you you may need to readjust them you know um not not necessarily saying that they can't can't be met but maybe change change the timeline that you're actually because sometimes we can put so much pressure on ourselves and because we're not finished by this particular date and it's like Yeah. And we just give up.

SPEAKER_05 44:01

We're like, I didn't mean to get line, so I'm just never going to happen.

SPEAKER_01 44:04

Right. It's your journey. So you can take the time. Right. You know, yeah. You can take the time that you that you actually need. Uh so yeah, sometimes we it it's just simply taking pressure off of ourselves. So it's so many different things. But yeah, those are a couple of things that I would actually say that that someone can do if they feel like they're uh, you know, that burnout is on the horizon, you know?

SPEAKER_05 44:23

Yeah. Well, and to me, I just think I realized I had this little bit of an epiphany while you were speaking too. It's like uh burnout. The call is coming from inside the house. We always think it's all the external factors, right? We always think it's everything else in the world that's burning us out. But we have to look inward and say, why am I not saying no more? What is it? Like, is it my people pleasing tendencies? Is it like my childhood hardwiring? Like, there's something deeper going on. And if you don't get to the source of that, nothing on the surface is going to change. And your body is the one responding and reacting, and you think it's all just because of the external factors, but it is literally coming from inside the house.

SPEAKER_01 45:07

I love that. That is so good. You know, um, I I remember, I don't know, maybe the first year or two in voiceover, I was constantly like getting going into this workshop and this workshop and that workshop, just collecting information, just collecting information. Yeah. But then I was looking at all these people that were, and that's when I said I was trying to attain a particular, you know, um uh any accolades, but it's like, why are what are these people that are constantly and consistently booking? You hear them everywhere. You're always they're always booking. What are they doing? So I talked to some of these people, reached out, like, how are you able to do this consistently across multiple genres? And what I realized is consistency. Consistency played a huge role in the person that they were working with or their technique, you know, um, not trying to change it. Then what I realized, all these workshops that I was signing up for, I was getting all this information from different people, but I wasn't necessarily using the information that I was getting that I actually had right in front of me. So once I actually kind of collected all this, figured out what was working and what wasn't working, it's like, okay.

SPEAKER_02 46:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 46:24

Then that consistency started, you know, happening for me. And it's the same way it is in your business, in your work. You know, kind of dial in, but I I love that uh the call is coming from in the yeah, it's it's all up here, right?

SPEAKER_05 46:38

Yeah, yeah, it is, it is. I love that. And yeah, you're right, consistency is so key through all of it. Showing up is such a big part of it. Um, and like you said, taking what you've learned and and figuring out how to apply it. And it's not like a whole overhaul. It's like, what is one small thing? What's one little thing I can change? Like, even if today from this whole conversation, the thing is you just remembering to check in somatically once a day, twice a day, to just be like, what am I holding tight? Like that's such a good start. And that's sometimes all you need to get rolling because then it's gonna build. All right, looking at the year ahead, what do you want women, um, professional women specifically, uh, to know about protecting their mental health while still showing up uh powerfully in their work?

SPEAKER_01 47:22

I I would have to say don't don't wait until you know it's you know, the all this buildup is happening. Um pay attention to those little things. Um don't don't just talk them up to oh I I had a stressful client because yes, that it's not taken away, yes, you had a stressful client, you were audited, you know, that's stressful, no matter what it is, but pay attention to those things and do something about them. Deal with them in the and when I say deal with them, not necessarily because it's gonna take a while to deal with that audit, right? Yeah, but deal with how you're how you're handling the stress of it all. Deal with how you're responding to it throughout, and that's why consistency and intention, you have to be intentional every single day about your thoughts, about your movements, all of that, you know. So building resistance throughout the same, uh, you know, it's the same way someone built you you built your career. The same way you built your career, you had goals, you you had timelines, you know, you you it was broken down and and it was steps that you had to take. They were very intentional, and they were very you were very consistent in doing so. It's the same way that you have to do when it comes to your mental mental health, mental wellness, and mental resilience over time, but it is intention. Yes, intentional with those. So, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 48:43

I love that. The intentionality, I think that's I think that's such a good sign of like strong mental health and self-awareness is that intentionality because you are moving from reacting to responding, right? Like I don't react to that email from the client. I will carefully, intentionally take time, step away, go outside, listen to the birds, right? Come back in and maybe process with a friend, maybe talk to a coworker about it. And then when I'm in a good headspace within 24 hours, then I'll respond. You know what I mean? That that's different than reacting. Um, not to say that we can't or couldn't react, but like as the response to your reaction.

SPEAKER_01 49:21

Absolutely. And and that's the thing, you know, uh telling again, uh having that space and that time just to pause and like, you know what? I I don't have to respond right now because a lot of times it's that's what we do. Even for example, in auditioning, it's like, oh, we got this, I got this audition, I gotta ask. Like, yeah, no, we can take a minute. Take a minute to read the script. Make sure that you understand exactly what it's saying. Because the more that you understand the intention behind the words, you'll be able to deliver that intention authentically. It's the same way it is showing up for yourself in your business and in your work. Um, and and again, I of course we're talking talking to uh business women, uh lead people in leadership, but this is even in your everyday life.

SPEAKER_04 50:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 50:08

You know, if you feel like you're you're you're you're kind of snapping at the kid, snapping at the spouse, kind of, you know what, I just need a reset. I you know I and communicate, you know, communicate with people, you know, in your life to let them know, you know what, I had a rough day today. You know, um I I think all of those different things, um, because that's all about our setting boundaries as well, you know.

SPEAKER_05 50:31

Love it. This has been such a good conversation. I'm not surprised, Mary. I'm so glad that we've had this. I think it's just such a deeper dive on understanding the ways in which burnout can show up and how simple it can be through just simple awareness as a beginning point to start to build and grow from that. But even talking about, you know, burnout showing up as guilt or resentment, like I don't think these are words that we've used in all the burnout conversations we've had over the last, I don't know, six years on the podcast. So it's fantastic.

Rapid Fire Tools And Closing

SPEAKER_05 51:01

All right. Well, I'm gonna move into our power round questions as we wrap things up. So these are kind of fun rapid fire questions. All right. So um for the power round, wanted to get your thoughts on a couple of quick rapid fire questions. This one, you've mentioned gardening and watching the birds. So I'm gonna push you to give us maybe one more. What's your go-to grounding technique when stress hits?

SPEAKER_01 51:24

Um I would say like just movement. Like usually I'll just dance around and be silly. Like and I think it's because uh conversation that we were having before we came on, just not taking myself so serious. It's like, you know what, it's not that important. It's you know, just kind of shake it off type of thing. So yeah.

SPEAKER_05 51:43

Yeah. In the last year, I've had a lot of life changes and I've learned and have learned to embrace so much more about somatic work and you just getting up and moving like that, we don't realize how much emotion we hold in our bodies throughout the day. And I think when we are kind of always rigid, always sitting, always like standing kind of in a certain way and having to be professional, which I get like it's hard because our bodies like inside, we're still kind of again, call coming from inside the house, it's screaming. So I think getting up and and getting your boogie on, that's a great tip. I love it. Or just taking a walk, going for a run. What is one boundary that you've had to set more than once because it keeps trying to slip away?

SPEAKER_01 52:24

Um the example that I gave earlier, just trying to try to feel like I have to do it all. Um you know, of course, early in my career, of course, you know, because I have such a heart of giving and serving others, you know, I felt like if if I didn't, you know, help this client in the moment or I didn't, you know, my coworker needed some help, whatever it is, just saying yes, but I realized that I was pulled in every direction and overwhelmed myself. But I also saw that in my voiceover career, like I said earlier, you know, probably two years into my voiceover career, I realized I was just I was doing a lot. I was just doing every everything that was being offered, I was signing up for it. And it was like, this isn't serving me anymore. I I I don't know that it ever was, you know, probably early on it was, but it's like just take the time to slow down and and and do nothing. Take in what you actually have in front of you. So uh definitely that is a that is a boundary that I have to constantly remind myself of and be intentional with, you know, like making sure, are you taking on too much? No, right? Okay, make sure I don't I I I like for example, I don't I I try to make sure that I don't have too many, like more than three things a week to do. Because again, when I have so much to too much to do, I realize how overwhelmed I can get, you know, very easily.

SPEAKER_05 53:41

So because life's gonna throw some things in there too, right? There's always something that's gonna go sideways. So if you overbook yourself and then something else comes plowing in out like the ninth inning, not ready for that to appear, you're gonna, you're gonna spiral out for sure. Um, there was something else I was gonna say before that, too, while you were speaking, um, but no, I don't remember what it was, so that's okay. Um, I know what it was. It was uh that whole like always taking on more and more and more. And I think a lot of that has to do with our like a lot of people's core belief that my productivity is my worth. Like my ability to do is what makes me valuable as a human. That was a big lightning strike moment for me where it was like, if I'm not showing up and helping and doing for others, who am I? What am I doing here? And I that's uh that's something you have to sit with and figure out. Um that's therapy right there though, but that's not for rapid fire. All right, what is something that you thought you had to do for your career that you've since realized that you don't?

SPEAKER_03 54:49

Something that I thought that I needed in my career.

SPEAKER_01 54:54

I don't know. I guess I would say um Yeah, I I guess you know, realizing that my and this is supposed to be rapid fire. Um not so rapid, but you know, I I think it's I think it's um that it didn't social work was so important, I thought that that's that was gonna be the the end all be all, right? Like that that was it. You know, and just realizing that it it it one thing it it can be more than one thing. I I didn't have to have all of these different experiences. Um being in the military, yeah, being a social worker, actually, even going through you know the the uh substance abuse and and mental illness, all of those different things created all of what is here with the pressure proof your life, you know. So just really taking taking on and appreciating everything that happens in life professionally and personally, because it all are building blocks, you know? Yep. So I I guess that's what I would say.

SPEAKER_05 56:01

Yeah, I love it. That's great advice. That's so true. All right. I want to know next how can people find you, learn more about you, listen to the work that you're doing, share the work you're doing, all that good stuff.

SPEAKER_01 56:13

Yeah, thank you. Um I can be reached at info at depression dash prooflife uh.com uh or as well as my uh website is depressionproofyourlife.com. And I'm also on my podcast, is actually on Spotify and uh Apple's podcast. And of course, if someone wanted to reach out to me for a voiceover, I can be reached at uh Marion at Marion Mills Voice dot com. And my voice my website is Marion Mills Voice.com. But yes, it's such an honor to be on the show, you know, to talk about mental health and you know, just to kind of dive in and support women, really, really is.

SPEAKER_05 56:51

Yeah, and we appreciate you for sharing your story, your vulnerability, your wisdom. All of that's been so hard-earned, and I love that you're willing to take that and give it to others. It's such a gift, it's so wonderful. Um, so if you're ready to build your resilience, your energy, learn more about depression proof method, you can definitely check out her website. We'll include all of those things in the show notes that she just shared with us. And remember, Together Digital is here for you as well. You've got your community, you've got over 500 women that are always have your back. Um, we've got our community Slack, we've got our peer groups, which applications are open for until tomorrow. So, members, if you're listening, make sure that you apply for your dedicated peer group, your own personal board of directors that are going to see you through all things digital in life and become your new professional soulmates. That's such a great member benefit and feature. If you're not in a peer group yet, I highly recommend it. Um, we are all about sharing our knowledge, power, and connections. And so, Marion, we are so grateful that you came and did that with us today. Thanks for sharing your power. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 57:46

Really appreciate it.

SPEAKER_05 57:47

Of course. All right, everyone. That's all we've got for now. We will see you again soon. Until then, keep asking, keep giving, and keep growing.

SPEAKER_02 58:03

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